With a lifetime of advice telling us not to make the first move, it’s no surprise that women are a little clueless when it comes to how to ask a guy out. There is definitely something to be said about playing coy and letting him make the first move, but sometimes a guy just isn’t as quick about it as women would like. You can wait it out and hope and pray with all your might that he gets up the courage, or you can take matters into your own hands and give him the gentle push that he needs. That’s what this article is all about.
The following tips teach you how to ask a guy out without realizing your fears of looking desperate or losing your dignity.
Stop fearing rejection…
No one likes to be rejected, but you can’t let your fear of rejection stop you from going after what you want. The best way to get over this fear is to realize that it’s not personal if he does say no. We all have our preferences. For instance, you may prefer dark-haired men, but this doesn’t mean that you despise every blond guy out there, right? Of course not! So why take it so personally if you’re not someone else’s type? The worst that a guy you ask out can do is say no, so why let it get to you and allow your fear of that possibility to stop you from taking a chance? Life’s too short to be afraid!
Look your best…
This isn’t just about upping your chances of getting him to say yes by looking incredible—though it wouldn’t hurt! This is about feeling so great about the way you look that you can’t help but ooze with confidence when you do make your move. There’s nothing quite like a gorgeous new outfit or hairstyle to make you feel like you can conquer the world, so get yourself gussied up and go get him! Just be sure to keep it sexy and stylish as opposed to skanky and too obvious. You want to accentuate your best features, not serve them up for free!
Invite him to join you and your friends…
Inviting a guy to a group event or to join you at your table takes some of the pressure off and keeps things light. It’ll give him a hint that you’re interested without letting him know for certain. It also gives you both an opportunity to get acquainted without the pressure of a one-on-one conversation since your friends are there to jump in and be your buffer. Keep it casual when you ask him to join you. For instance, you could talk about your weekend plans with friends and how much fun it should be and ask if he wants to swing by. Easy breezy is the way to play it.
Create a happy coincidence…
No, this doesn’t mean accidentally turning up in places he goes and stalking him. Instead, have a casual conversation with him about what he’s got planned for the weekend or what he likes to do in his free time and announce excitedly (and as convincingly as possible) that you do and love that too. What a coincidence! If he mentions something that you know absolutely nothing about, tell him instead that it’s something you’ve always been curious about or wanted to try. Close by slipping in something along the lines of “I’d love to tag along sometime” or “maybe we can do it together”. This way you’re suggesting getting together without committing to actually asking him out on a date.
Flirt up a storm first…
There’s nothing like some good old fashioned flirting to get a guy all excited. Flirting strokes his ego and makes him feel good about himself. It also makes you appear sexier than ever and confident; a combination most guys can’t resist. Flirting will also make you feel just as amazing while also giving you a good indication as to whether or not he’s interested which will make asking him out a lot easier. And, if you do a good job of flirting, then he just may beat you to the punch and ask you out first!
Ask him for help…
There are few guys who can turn down a damsel in distress, which in this case is you asking for his help with something. Ask him to help you lift something heavy or check out a funny noise that your car is making. Once he’s helped you, show your gratitude by offering to buy him a drink or dinner. It may sound contrived and obvious, but it works like a charm. The reason it works is that helping a woman and showing that he can take charge and solve things is in a male’s nature. He’ll feel good being able to help you and even better when you show him appreciation and shower him with praise. To top it off, it lets you invite him out for a drink or dinner and enjoy time alone with him without the pressure of an official date.
To sum it up…
Knowing how to ask him out without coming off as desperate or needy is all in the way you approach it. Don’t fret over him saying no because even if he does, it’s not the end of the world. And, use tried and true methods like dressing up and flirting to help boost your confidence and attract him to you before you ask. Confidence goes a long way and the better you feel about yourself, the easier asking him out will be. Cater to his masculinity and ego by looking pretty and asking him to help you with something he’s good at and showing your undying appreciation. Keep it subtle and light to keep the pressure off and let your invitation to get together seem natural and enjoyable. He won’t be able to resist!
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