You’ve been together for a while now and are ready to take the next step, only he doesn’t seem any closer to asking THE question and putting a sparkly rock on your finger. If you’ve been waiting for what feels like an eternity for a proposal and are starting to feel you are never going to get, it’s time to try these tips to get him to propose and get you both on the final leg of your journey to your happily ever after.
Show him that you’re open to marriage…
It’s important to stress that showing him you are open to it doesn’t mean hounding him about it. You don’t need to have “the talk” because first, that sucks the romance right out of it, and second, cornering him for a serious talk about marriage could send him running for the door! There’s nothing wrong with dropping hints into conversation that let him know in a subtle way that you see yourselves headed in that direction. Assuming you have been together long enough to be thinking and talking marriage, it’s not unusual for you to refer to yours and his future every now and again, like “When we’re married…” or “If we ever get married…” It’s important to let a man know that you are open to marriage without badgering him. Guys can be very insecure, even when it comes to someone they love and have been with for a while. They need to know at least to a certain degree that there’s a good chance the proposal is not going to end in a humiliating rejection. Show you’re open to help get him over the fear-of-uncertainty hurdle.
Tone things down if you’ve been pushing marriage…
If you’ve had nothing to say recently apart from talk of your dream wedding, the dream dress, the perfect shoes… blah, blah, blah, you’ve already turned into a Bridezilla, and he won’t want to marry you. You want to tell him you aren’t scared of the idea, not pulverize him until he has no other choice. Men don’t like being pushed and hearing constant talk of the dream wedding and all that goes with it gives the impression that you’re just one of those girls that wants to be married for the sake of the diamond ring and the flashy wedding—the ideal, as opposed to the ideal man. You want HIM, not the future he can offer you and talking incessantly about weddings will not convey that.
Be sure that he’s ready to get married…
Guys take a bit longer to get there than the ladies do, so you might have been there for a few months but he’s probably still thinking things over. Do you really think the two of you are ready to get engaged? Remember the idea of getting engaged is to get married. Is that a commitment your relationship is ready for? You being ready is one thing, but your relationship being on the same level is a different matter entirely. The last thing you want to do is push and prod until you get a proposal only to have the marriage fall apart because he wasn’t ready and was left to feel like he had to propose. If he has never even so much as hinted at your future together or is in a position that isn’t really conducive with proposing and buying an expensive ring because he’s not established in his career yet or isn’t financially stable, then trying to get him to propose may not be the right thing to do.
Ensure that you and your relationship make him want to stay forever…
If you’re constantly bickering or nagging and your relationship is on again-off again or in a constant state of turmoil, chances are he isn’t going to want to propose to you and learning all the tricks in the world on how to get him to propose isn’t going to help. To get him to propose he needs to want to be with you forever and love being in a relationship with you enough to not be able to picture his life without you. A nag and a relationship full of uncertainty and drama aren’t enticing for any guy.
Make him see you as wife material…
This will lead to a groan heard from feminists around the world, but, at the end of the day a man wants to marry a woman that he believes will make a good wife. And as strong and independent as women have become, men deep inside still need to see you in a certain light to start thinking of you as his future wife. Seeing you that way may require a little bit of old fashioned domestication. Cook him a dinner; let him see that you’re a whiz in the kitchen and that your home isn’t total chaos and mess. It’s a little thing but often enough to get a guy thinking “Wow, she’s a keeper”. Getting him to seriously consider proposing to you and making you part of his family also means toning down the kind of behavior that makes you seem the complete opposite. Constant partying, carrying on with other guys, and looking like the last person he’d want to bring home to mom are all no-no’s if you want to get him to propose.
Try taking some time out
If you feel that he has had plenty of time to know if he wants a future with you and he’s not proposing because perhaps he’s not serious or he is taking for granted what he has in you, then try taking a break from each other. We’re not saying that the two of you should split up or anything dramatic like that and an ultimatum like “marry me or it’s over” is also not the way to go. Sometimes not having what you love close by helps to make you realize that what you have is special and absence does make the heart grow fonder. Backing away a bit to do your own thing and give each other space may bring him the clarity he needs and remind him just how much better his life is with you in it.
To sum it up…
The song was right – you can’t hurry love. Trying to force a guy to propose isn’t a brilliant move because this is, after all, the rest of your lives you’re talking about. A proposal, romantic as it may be, is about a lot more than getting a pretty ring to show off to friends. If the relationship is solid and you are a woman who makes him feel good when you’re together, then it will take very little to get him to propose and the above tips should do the trick.
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