When we hear about men lying and cheating, the first thing that pops into our heads is why men lie and cheat? What is it about being a man that makes cheating and sneaking around come so easily even though morally it’s just wrong? Is it just something that men are programmed to do? Is it in their DNA? You may be surprised to find that there are several reasons why men cheat and lie and they’re not all about wanting to get laid, as many tend to believe. Let’s look at what makes men lie to women and stray from even seemingly good relationships.
They crave more intimacy…
Shocking, isn’t it? It may be hard to believe that there are any genuine emotions behind the cheating and lies that men tell, but the reality is that men often struggle with a lot of the same things that we women do. If a man feels disconnected from his partner and as if he is unloved or unappreciated, then he’s going to crave that closeness just like you would. Interestingly enough, craving more intimacy is often what drives women to cheat too. A woman is more likely to talk about it and try to work things out with her partner while men tend to shut down and keep their feelings to themselves until they eat away at him. Eventually these feelings turn to resentment and he looks elsewhere for what he feels he’s not getting from his partner.
They have low self-esteem…
When guys are insecure and feel bad about themselves, it’s not uncommon for them to go in search of a boost for their ego. The ultimate ego boost: a woman who gives them attention, of course! A man’s insecurities can be the result of all kinds of things, from being abandoned or mistreated as a child to being with a woman who nags and fails to ever show any appreciation or admiration for him. What better way to feed your ego than to have it stroked by a woman who wants you—or so some men believe.
They’re unsatisfied in the bedroom…
It isn’t about wanting a different partner, per say, but rather about not feeling satisfied with the sex they’re having with their partner. It could be that he’s not having as much sex as he would like or that the sex he’s having has gotten dry, routine, and boring. This is not uncommon after a couple’s been together for a while and falling into a rut in the bedroom happens a lot. When the sex becomes less frequent or routine, that lack of passion gives his ego a real beating, making him feel like his partner’s not as attracted to him as she used to be. To some guys, lying and cheating is easier than talking to their partner and admitting that they’re bored with their sex life.
They want out of the relationship…
Yes, this is a cowardly way to go about it, but some men will cheat and allow themselves to get caught simply because they want out of the relationship but don’t want to be the one to say it. It’s not always so cut and dry though, as some men will purposely allow their wives or girlfriends to find out they’re cheating as a way out of a relationship that they worry is already failing anyway. This could explain some of the lies men tell that are just so ridiculous and obvious that we often brush them off as “stupidity” when really the lies are bad ones for a reason. A lot of men fear breaking the news and being the bad guy and feel that this is an easy way around it.
They fear intimacy…
While many men cheat because they crave intimacy there are others who cheat because they’re running from it and fear it like the plague. Cheating is seen by some guys as a way to distance themselves from a woman that they care deeply about when they start to feel too close or invested in a relationship. For other men, especially men that lie often, sneaking around and cheating with multiple women means never giving themselves the opportunity to get too close or attached to a woman. It may sound ridiculous—especially to a woman—but men who have a fear of intimacy lie and cheat to try to keep from getting hurt.
They feel like they’re dating/married to their mothers…
This is has a lot to do with why men lie to women about even the smallest things and not just cheating. If he’s in a relationship with a woman that nags him constantly and that makes him feel like he’s always “in trouble”, not only will he lie to not have to be scolded, but he’s also very likely to go out and look for a woman who doesn’t nag him and constantly make him feel like he can never do anything right. Not only does this put a strain on the relationship, but it also changes the way he sees his partner. If you make him feel like a child by talking down to him and scolding him, then you take on a “mommy” role in a way. A man’s not likely to be sexually attracted to a woman who’s a pain to be around let alone one who reminds him of his mother.
To sum it up…
Why men lie and cheat has a lot to do with how they’re made to feel in their relationship. A man wants to feel loved and valued. The way a man is programmed, so to speak, makes it natural for him to want to feel like he’s in charge and admired for who he is and what he does for his woman. If he’s in a relationship with someone who makes him feel unappreciated and like less than a man, then he’s likely to want to find someone who does make him feel valued and wanted, in and out of the bedroom. Even those with deep-rooted self-esteem issues are less likely to crave attention from other women when they’re in a satisfying relationship. This doesn’t mean that it’s okay for men to lie or cheat, but it does explain why some do and others don’t. It can also be the insight you need to stop your man from cheating or lying.
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