How to get your guy to express his feelings just takes time and the right approach.
Most guys need an excavation team to crack the safe that is their heart and tap into their inner feelings!
Men often come off as coldhearted and unfeeling because they find it difficult to express what they’re feeling.
Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
If you want to know how to get your guy to express his feelings read the tips below.
It’s Not His Fault He Can’t Express His Feelings
We blame and chastise guys for not expressing their feelings and open up, but most men are raised not to show emotion.
Unfortunately some parents still believe that loosing control of your emotions exhibits a weakness.
And they teach their boys to avoid expressing their feelings and show strength instead.
Unfortunately, this leads to a world full of men who keep things inside and frustrated women who don’t understand why.
We have all heard of the “strong and silent type” stereotype.
For centuries the rule of thumb was this is attractive in a man.
It’s no wonder that men feel that they shouldn’t open up.
Especially when taught to do the exact opposite from early on in life.
Quit Jumping To Conclusions
When met with a blank stare or silence to your questions, try not to jump to conclusions.
Women think when a man doesn’t have a detailed or insightful response to a question or comment it’s because he doesn’t care or is hiding something.
This often leads to a lot of misunderstandings and accusations, which eventually lead to resentment.
The problem here is that this vicious circle tends to have the opposite of the desired effect.
So instead of getting him to explain himself and open up, he instead shuts down and backs away from the conversation.
As this continues and keeps happening, he becomes more and more afraid to say anything.
Guys Fear Getting Emotional
Guys hate getting emotional and as we said, have it engrained in them that it makes them look weak and is something to be ashamed of.
So, if the conversation at hand is likely to make him emotional and well up with tears, he’s going to avoid it like the plague.
Try to control how his inability to open up affects you and understand why it affects him the way it does.
If he has something big going on, chastising him for not opening up to you isn’t going to help.
But offering the time and space to work through it and come to you will.
Most men won’t talk about a problem until they’ve figured out how to get a handle on it.
This helps to avoid getting too emotional in front of another person, including his girlfriend or wife.
He’s the protector, the strong one and will take time to handle issues on his own before risking showing otherwise.
He May Perceive You As Intrusive And Confrontational
Not getting the heartfelt response or the straightforward reply that you wanted, leads to more questions hoping he’ll open up.
Even if you’re not shouting, he might still feel like you’re being confrontational and unreasonable.
His parents raised him that strength and not weakness is the right way to control emotions.
What you perceive as trying to talk to him and understand what he’s feeling, he may perceive as you arguing and being intrusive.
Learn To Listen To Your Guy When He Expresses His Feelings
No matter what you’re talking about, showing him that you are able to hear him out is a very important part of how to get him to open up.
Cutting him off when he tries to express his feelings or belittling what he has to say will shut him down and leave him feeling like he can’t talk to you about anything.
Just like you, he wants you to hear him and given the opportunity to express himself when he needs to.
He won’t come to you if he thinks you’re not going to hear him out.
Be willing to listen and be sure he knows that he can open up to you without fear of judgment or ridicule and he’ll be a lot more likely to come to you with his feelings.
Take Him Somewhere Comfortable And Private
Sometimes going somewhere comfortable and private provides the opportunity to learn how to get your guy to express his feelings.
Allowing him to relax in an environment he enjoys helps to rid him of the anxiety associated with opening up.
Going camping, hiking or working in the garden might offer a way for casual conversation without any added pressure.
In this situation he might feel more comfortable talking about what is bothering him.
Let him get it all off his chest before responding with your views or solutions.
Ensure your response makes him feel part of the solution not the reason for it.
Regardless of the reason(s) he shares with you, getting him to open up is the end game.
Once you learn how to get your guy to express his feelings remember what worked and implement it every time.
Using the same or similar technics you learned should make it easier for him to always open up to you.
To Sum How To Get Your Guy To Express His Feelings
Men have a hard time opening up because that’s what they know to be the way as the so-called “stronger sex”.
It’s not easy to change a behavior taught by their parents defining the right way to control their emotions.
It’s even harder if he’s not confident he can open up to you without you criticizing or laughing at him.
Men process their feelings differently and need time to work through what they feel.
Allowing the time and space to do that is key for a man.
He’s not likely to share his feelings and be open without the time to rationalize at his own pace first.
It’s not easy, but having some patience and holding your tongue might be the best thing you can do when it comes to how to get him to open up.
Listen to him and not jump to conclusions and throw out accusations when he is having trouble talking to you.
Pushing him for more details won’t work, the opposite effect is what you’ll get.
They don’t keep their feelings to themselves to hurt you or because they’re being sinister.
It’s just what they know.
Showing him some understanding and your openness to let him share will make him want to open up.
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